I've been a little bit busy lately and haven't had much time to do laundry. Busy is a synonym for lazy, isn't it.?
My life has been too much "rush rush rush" and not enough "wash wash wash". So, needless to say I am running out of clean clothes.
Today, I officially ran out of comfortable underwear selections leaving only the sexy variety. I'm not going on a date, I'm going to work but it still beats going commando. Alright, alright, nothing beats going commando.
I do have the next best thing to commando. I call them my Tarzans. They began life as a pair of Tidy Whiteys but have worn down to a mere T-Back. With the many dangling strings, they beg to be called Butt-Floss.
I can't throw them away or I would have nothing to wear underneath the paper gown at the Doctors office.
I want him to feel sorry for me so he charges less and I make sure the Nurses can see everything.
The sexy underwear have a tendency to migrate to the valley so now I am doomed to be playing cheek shepherd and getting my wool to greener pastures.
Now, which pants do I wear? Out of the few I have left, most of them have some pretty considerable holes in them. Sure, they offer some nice ventilation but I am feeling a little revealed in the Final Layer Of Protection and I may have mosquito issues.
That narrows my choice down to thin pants that would show pantie lines or loose pants that would show my whale tail. It's not so much of a whale tail but it would be after the migration to the valley. I don't plan on doing any plumbing work so the crack shot may be uncalled for.
The tight pants can be a little rough on the giblets and may boil the egg bag a bit in the summer.
Shorts would be good but I don't want any snakes crawling in or falling out. Especially if a snake crawls up my leg thinking he found a lizard in a bush or something.
I guess I'll wear the pants with the whole in the pocket. Sure, I might be feeling a little cocky today but I'll wash my hands often.