Wednesday, April 30, 2008

What to wear?

I've been a little bit busy lately and haven't had much time to do laundry. Busy is a synonym for lazy, isn't it.?
My life has been too much "rush rush rush" and not enough "wash wash wash". So, needless to say I am running out of clean clothes.
Today, I officially ran out of comfortable underwear selections leaving only the sexy variety. I'm not going on a date, I'm going to work but it still beats going commando. Alright, alright, nothing beats going commando.
I do have the next best thing to commando. I call them my Tarzans. They began life as a pair of Tidy Whiteys but have worn down to a mere T-Back. With the many dangling strings, they beg to be called Butt-Floss.
I can't throw them away or I would have nothing to wear underneath the paper gown at the Doctors office.
I want him to feel sorry for me so he charges less and I make sure the Nurses can see everything.
The sexy underwear have a tendency to migrate to the valley so now I am doomed to be playing cheek shepherd and getting my wool to greener pastures.

Now, which pants do I wear? Out of the few I have left, most of them have some pretty considerable holes in them. Sure, they offer some nice ventilation but I am feeling a little revealed in the Final Layer Of Protection and I may have mosquito issues.
That narrows my choice down to thin pants that would show pantie lines or loose pants that would show my whale tail. It's not so much of a whale tail but it would be after the migration to the valley. I don't plan on doing any plumbing work so the crack shot may be uncalled for.
The tight pants can be a little rough on the giblets and may boil the egg bag a bit in the summer.

Shorts would be good but I don't want any snakes crawling in or falling out. Especially if a snake crawls up my leg thinking he found a lizard in a bush or something.
I guess I'll wear the pants with the whole in the pocket. Sure, I might be feeling a little cocky today but I'll wash my hands often.

11 comments:

Claire said...

Please buy some new pants!

"The tight pants can be a little rough on the giblets and may boil the egg bag a bit in the summer."

This is not a nice image.

:)

timethief said...

Oh my do you need to go shopping or what? The possibility of poached eggs is not a risk worth taking. And, although the long term benefit of wearing tight pants may be sterility it's the bound to be a painful process. Go shopping I say and purchase an array. Or, at the very least, do the damn laundry! :P

The Blogger Exposed said...

"Alright, alright, nothing beats going commando. "

I have a feeling that's not quite true, now is it? :D

earthlingorgeous said...

LOL Ekim this is hilarious, why don't you go shopping :P buy a disposable underwear or something.

Ekim said...

Come on guys, there's nothing rugged and manly about going shopping. I'm living out my caveman fantasies. I'm a survivalist.
Today I'm wearing the Tarzans. I feel like a warrior with poached eggs :) Good one Timethief.

John Painz said...

dude, you have a google ad for 'hung men in speedos'.

I'll be back.

For the articles, you know.

Jess said...

Oh, you made me laugh so hard it bought tears to my eyes. Sorry but the floss jocks have to go! See there is reason why your dentist hates you you're flossing in the wrong spot.

BK said...

The nurses are in for a treat? LOL :P

I hate tight pant; kinda of uncomfortable to wear them.

DarkAngelMe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DarkAngelMe said...

I'm yet to understand the logic behind underwear...I've been thinking of starting this movement that advocates for the abolition of underwear, instead collect all that fabric, make it into clothes and send it to those poor naked kids in Africa (oops, i should have said send them here.

If you are not half Welsh and Half Hungarian, you might still get there by letting them run (or whatever it that they do) free :-P. But then again, don;t listen to me, there is warning about listening to me somewhere in the Penal code :-)

Azure Islands Designs said...

Where do these thoughts come from...I really must live a sheltered life!!! Love it...

Just a suggestion...do the laundry... :0)