Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Rebel without a clue.

My friend Ashley tells me that women are drawn to men that are "Bad Boys". Then, to make things worse, she tells me that I am not a "Bad boy".

Oh, I beg to differ. I am a bad boy, a true rebel. I work construction without a hard hat Ya'know?

I don't heed warnings at all. That's right, I am dangerous.
I take Tylenol and then I do not, "Keep out of reach of children".
In fact I stand right next to them.

I probably wouldn't have a headache if I did.

I don't lather, Rinse and repeat. I just lather and rinse.
I just lather and rinse.

Really, Ashley, I'm the guy your Mom warned you about.
Don't believe me?

I run with scissors, how do you like that?
And to make it better, they are left handed scissors in my right hand.
"Alert the authorities, he's gone mad!!!"

Now, if that's not "Bad Boy" enough for you, let me present you with
what I like to call "Exhibit A":

Feast your eyes on this baby!!

I ripped the tag of that mattress
Like it was nothing.

I didn't even hesitate

And I'm not the consumer either.

My Mom bought that mattress.

So I could do hard time for this.

I have this hanging on my refrigerator as a reminder of what a "Bad Boy" I am.
If the Mattress Police ever come to diner, I'll get busted.

Busted, I tell you!!! I'm living on the edge, full of Adrenaline and hard liquor.

Well, actually, Tang because it has a full days supply of vitamin C and I have a little case of the sniffles from the dust under the mattress. I could get sick from the germs and I don't wanna take any chances.

A "Bad boy" with green snot isn't very attractive, is he?

14 comments:

G. said...

Ha Ekim your a funny guy. This is good stuff.

danielle c said...

I like it..too funny

Tiffany said...

I think you could pass. But not because of the mattress tag.

Melissa said...

Wow that sounds like some baaaad stuff. Hopefully the Mattress Police don't have internet access or you are in big trouble dude.

Da Old Man said...

You're a bad seed. Bad to the bone, even.

earthlingorgeous said...

Hi Ekim,

I need to stay away from you in the BC forums and maybe here in your blog but just to answer your querry coz you sound serious about your questions about why do women prefer bad boys and how they smell a loser, topics you posted in BC, I think you are not a bad boy actually you are funny, I think you are not a loser too.

I think most of the girls you like seems to feel inadequate because I think you are a good guy, some women choose the less good guy because they think their imperfections won't match a good guy, yeah the irony of it.

We don't smell a loser until it's too late and we have become the loser too. Get it.

Those things you said in here is showing up your fun side which is cool. Keep on being funny, it's fun and nice knowing you. Just keep on being a good father and someday you will find the right girl for you. TC!

DarkAngelMe said...

You're bad... and being a bad boy addict, I'm doing all i can to keep me from clicking cheapticketstobewithabadboy.com. 'm even typing this comment off line, logging in and pasting it, then disconnecting my internet immediately.

My momma did not warm me about you though, she was busy looking for you to war you against me.

Funny stuff!!

Nicole said...

I love it. You just made me laugh so hard!! You are too funny

timethief said...

@ekim
Without doubt we are both bad because I either cut or rip off all such labels immediately upon purchase. Worse still is that I'm late to this party so please forgive me. &hearts
TT

kevin said...

you are dangerous.... VERY dangerous

Melissa said...

That was great... somehow I think my mom would actually like you :)

John Painz said...

not to toot my own horn or anything, but I BURNED mine off. Yeah. That's right.

You know, I had to buy a new mattress, but... whatever. I'm bad!

Ok, seriously. Leave two comments on my blog, or I'm giving you up to the fuzz.

Jeunelle Foster said...

You are such a rebel.
I too ripped that annoying tag off my mattress years ago and burned it.
There is no record of it anywhere.
Funny post, love it.

Real Diva Designs said...

Running with scissors..thats hot hahahaa