Look at this picture. That's not what I think of when I hear, "Raised by wolves in the jungle". This looks more like an advertisement for Supercuts. The miracle of Hollywood is that, with only a knife made from stone, this man managed to give himself a perfectly crafted pompadour.
Even more modern portrayals of Tarzan seem a bit unrealistic. Granted "George of the jungle" had less perfect hair but still had a clean shave. Now, Come on. Out in the jungle the only clothes he could manage to find was an animal carcass but Barbasol shave cream and Schick razors are easy to come by.I find it hard to believe that Tarzan can barely form a sentence but is able to shave his armpits and wax his chest. There seems to be some priorities out of place when you put grooming before education.
Even in the cartoons Tarzan doesn't look like he was raised by wolves. "Zoiks Scoob!!", Shaggy would have made a better Tarzan. At least he had some facial hair. Who does the casting for these cartoons anyway?By this philosophy, dare I say that we could slap a loin cloth on Ryan Seacrest and have ourselves the next Tarzan?
11 comments:
I always thought Tarzan was raise by apes, but agree so clean shaven and civilised, ahhh the power of the movies.
Cayasm
Ya'know I think he was raised by Apes. That's some good Irony, I made a mistake while pointing out a mistake. Nice.
AUGH!! Anything but Seacrest...
Can't we have George of the Jungle back instead? BF is kinda hot...perhaps it's Baloo the Bear who teaches these man-cubs how to shave?
So, did you think of this whilst growing a beard at the toy store?
Thanks for the entertaining post. That bare chest looks mighty youthful and appealing but setting that aside, I think Greg is unto something. :)
@Gregg Good point, I definitely wouldn't be picked to be the next tarzan now that I look like I just crawled out of the woods. Maybe I could be the next "Grizzly Adams".
Hmm.. I never thought about the fact that if he were real, Tarzan would probably look more like a hairy ape.
Thanks a lot for ruining that fantasy.
I'm sure next you will tell me that all Gladiators weren't big, sexy types with shaved chests, either! :(
Not Ryan Seacrest! I'll have nightmares now.
I guess sex sells even in cartoon animation. What about Capt'n Cave Man he is a cute little hairy guy.
Maybe all the anthropologists had it wrong for decades, and apes have actually been metrosexuals all this time. Then Hollywood and Disney discovered the truth and shared their profound knowledge with the world.
I think you're on to something. I've been randomly referencing the "Teen Wolf" movies today in every possible comment and this reminds me of just how horribly wrong some things in the sequel ("Teen Wolf Too") were.
Most specifically, the scene where Jason Bateman is running in the park and catches the frisbee in his mouth, all while keeping his stupid Debbie Gibson/1980's hat on?
I piss myself laughing whenever that comes on.
I'm not sure what the connection is, but certainly all things can be related back to Teen Wolf. A Tarzan wild man/ a teenage Werewolf that also wrestles or plays basketball (not to mention how WRONG it is to ask Michael J. Fox to portray a basketball player! He's like 5 foot 2!!!).
Yeah...there's connections! :)
Umm, Kdawg, It's Deborah Gibson now. :) Thanks for the comment Bro!
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