Thursday, April 24, 2008

Friends of canned meat

Bambi wants to be my friend on Myspace, funny how her grainy picture looks just like the one that came in the frame I bought from kmart. I do believe this woman is actually a salty little piece of meat. Of course that is a spam reference. I hope.

Before I even put any pictures up on myspace I had friends requests from women that said, "I think your hot and you should meet me and my bi-curious roommates. I can't figure out this Myspace thing so take a look at my other website".

Oh sure, Bimbo.. Or I mean Bambi can't figure out how to use myspace but click on her link and suddenly she's flippin Bill Gates. Oh she has a website with all the latest high tech bling and credit card processing capabilities.
Hang on a second, she thinks I'm hot? My picture is a little gray cartoon silhouette.

And this stuff works, Bambi has over 400 friends, mostly men and teenage boys just bursting with desperate hormones. Either these people are so desperate for friends that they don't even care that Bambi's real name is Carl or they actually believe that this woman thinks they are hot.

I was talking to a guy that said he should call Jessica Simpson now that she is divorced because they both like tuna. I wish I was joking, this guy was serious. Of course I couldn't leave this alone, I had to screw with him:

"Dude, true story", I began.
"I actually know one of her advisors", Oh man, he actually believes me. This is gonna be fun.
"Yeah, she said that Jess was just telling her that she wishes she could find a guy with no job, poor hygiene and smells like a taco but likes tuna. I think she is looking for you.", I said, trying hard to sound serious.

Anyway, the point is that there are stupid people out there that would fall for this. I was in the drive through of the bank and the guy in front of me was yelling at the teller, "I want a double cheeseburger!"
"This is a bank", she replies.
"No, I don't want bacon, are you stupid?", he asks.
So, Yep, these people are out there, making friends with canned meat on Myspace. Although, judging by the picture, I 'll bet Bambi smells more like tuna than Spam.

15 comments:

catatonickid said...

LOL! A truly classic rant right there. Good stuff!

Thank you for leaving me the kind comment. It does help =)

CK

Trisna said...

Hahaha... I got some of the bimbo types of guy who send me message exactly like yours at perfspot, but his name is Krull (can you believe that?) what kind of name is that? and i don't fall to that message even with his hunkylicious picture of him...

machinehuman said...

No bacon? :D
Nice post! Don't we all have experienced these 'friends' incidents?!

Ekim said...

@Trisna. That's interesting, I didn't know that women got these too.

Mewie said...

hilarious post.

Spammers like Bambi are the main reasons why I closed my Myspace account.

Let's just hope they don't invade BC!

Anthony said...

Well...ahemm... how to say that? ...I don't want to be mean, but I spent some time without visiting your blog (why should I if I can read your opinions all over blogcatalog hehe), and once I visit you how do you treat me? Do you think is nice to burst other people's bubbles?

Now, thanks to you I have my heart broken. I thought Bambi was sincere when she said she could tell I'm a hot and sexy guy just from the way I wrote "Hi" on my myspace profile.

I didn't care to allow her to debit my CC $29,95 a month to be able to talk with her and their lovely bi-friends because she explained me that they needed the money to help grow their little siblings at their homes.

And now, you tell me that her love wasn't true. But why should I believe you instead of her? And after all, I'm not really sure if I don't want to keep being fooled by Bambi and her friends... they are sooo hot *droll*

disclaimer: as the internet is filled by all sorts of weirdos, and some people could think I'm one of them, I'M NOT, all posted above IS A JOKE, OK? I was kidding, really...Oh!... Why don't you believe me??

Ekim said...

Sorry Anthony. Living by illusions can be very blissful. If it helps any, Bambi left me when my credit card was declined. She's all your now. Well, you have to share her with the 600 other guys with valid card numbers.

Mimzie said...

This is the funniest thing I've seen all day. I'm off to read more!

Tania said...

And I'm getting all the guys seeking "A God fearing woman"... I'm really not sure what that means... Yet they love me and want to get married and have my babies... I deleted my Myspace profile last night.

Oh, and they are all on contract somewhere...

englishsocialism said...

fucking true. hilarious.

chicky401 said...

I have a myspace account but I haven't been on it since I opened it so I don't know the activity to my profile. Bambi probably didn't get me though.

The Offended Blogger said...

Funny! I hadn't thought of it until just now, but where are all the hot male "Bambi's" trying to lure me to their websites?

It is discriminatory, I tell ya. :p

Anonymous said...

R.O.T.F.L.M.A.O

YOUR A RIOT!!

AND I WONDER HOW YOUR KIDS CAN BE SO CRAZY!! (SILLY)

AUDRA

Claire said...

A radio station over here surveyed a load of people asking them what does Britney Spears smell like.

More than one person said Trout.

This post reminded me of it :)

You get the Bambi's after you and I get all that bloody viagra spam.

Don Lewis said...

Stay away from Bambi! She's Mine!