Thursday, March 20, 2008

More compelling evidence that Chelle B is the anit-christ

I was reading a post from a fellow blogger over at BlogCatalog who described herself as the Anti-christ. I couldn't help but to ask myself, "Could this be true?" Now I have noticed that I am strangely drawn to the avatar that she hides behind in the discussion forums. It is a mesmerizing picture of some sort of cartoon like woman that appeals to my inner child.
What could it possibly be about this strange image that has me so captivated? I decided to take a break from normal hobby of creating myspace comments over at How2life and delve deeper into this mystery. So, I loaded up every available image manipulating program that I have and went straight to work.
Now, granted I'm not exactly a top detective or investigative journalist and I'm not exposing any new information here. I just had to satisfy my own curiosity. Furthermore, before you continue reading I want to warn you that the images you are about to see may shock you. I'd also like to state that I am not a scientist and these are not scientific findings and are based simply on my own opinions and observations.
Alright, now that we cleared that up, let's move on. I started with the original image. After gazing at it with awe and wonder for about an hour, I loaded it into photopaint.

Now I know what you are thinking, "Seems harmless enough". Well, that's exactly what she wants to to think. There must be something here. To start with I had to make the image larger, so I magnified it.
Now we are getting somewhere. Even with big boxy pixels I just can't take my eyes of of this seemingly harmless avatar. So innocent and sweet in a sexy and seductive way. The anti-christ must be a marketing genius. I had to force myself to stop staring at the enticing pixels and trudge onward with my mission. The image as a whole was just too tempting so I decided to take just a small biopsy of it and work with that. Now, I was starting to feel more like a scientist working with just a small piece of the inti-christ. Yes, I take my biopsy sample and head to the lab for further testing.
It was at this point that things got really interesting. Something was beginning to appear that I didn't see before in the smaller picture. "Oh, that clever woman", I thought to myself. But you have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool me.

So, do you see it? Neither did I at first. I had to go back to the very beginning, the early days of computers and the internet. To think like the anti-christ you have to become the anti-christ. I didn't like where I was going with this. What evil path was I going down and would I be able to return? Is it worth it to thrust myself into the deep dark world of the Offended blogger just to quench my thirst for the truth.
I decided to take a break and do some research on the subject. I dusted off my old X-files DVD's to find out what Mulder and Scully would do. At last, I had found my inspiration.
My thinking was right, it did have to do with the early beginnings of the computers and internet. An image on the internet is a binary file, a series of one's and zero's working as a team to represent colored pixels on a screen. That is where I will find my answer. Looking deeper into the image maybe the one's and zero's can be retranslated somehow. Maybe it's a secret code.
The answer was even more shocking and elegantly simple. They are not zero's at all.

They are actually Sixes.
On it's most basic, primal level the image is pure evil. This clever woman is using subliminal advertising to lure in her followers and I almost fell victim to her feminine whiles. Clearly this explains how someone can start a discussion about "Baking soda" and have thousands of people responding to her. It's not about baking soda at all. It's about a picture being worth a thousand words. Turns out that this picture is saying, "Come to the dark side, we have cookies that I made with my very own baking soda recipe".
Obviously, the opinions here are strictly for my own amusement and have nothing to do with science or the anti-christ. This is all done in good fun and I enjoy my discussions with my friends at BlogCatalog. And hopefully Chelle B will find it in her heart to forgive me for using her as the subject matter of this post.

8 comments:

theoffendedblogger said...

That was brilliant, you are so getting preferential treatment in hell now!

You might even get mentioned on my Weekender Offender post. ;)

Claire said...

I thunk she will forgive if you promise never to even attempt to mess with her baking soda thread again :)

She recruited me as one of her evil minions awhile back.

Drowsey Monkey said...

lol ... it really important to look closely.

as for that baking soda thread, every time I try to open it ... it locks up my computer. Anti-christ indeed.

Ekim said...

Sounds like a challenge, now I "Have" to mess with baking soda.

Tigress said...

LOL! For a minute I wasn't sure if you were joking. Very clever.

survivor said...

Chelle B should be honored you went that far to break her DNA down.

Brielle Coronet said...

Thanks for the laugh...you were joking weren't you?

hmmm could the antichrist come in the form of a pixel generated avatar? would be verrrry clever....

nah

tiger said...

I love it! Very creative!That's actually really cool.
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