Saturday, December 22, 2007

Cosmo Cracks me up

Okay, so it's not supposed to be a comedy magazine, but still. I go to get groceries and I stand in line and laugh at the cover of Cosmo and all the other magazines that target women. Are these things for real? Do women actually believe this stuff? I want to share my thoughts on some of the headlines:
"How to find out what your man really wants?" I don't know, maybe ask him. Do you need to spend five bucks for that? It seems pretty obvious.
"10 things your man wants in bed but is afraid to tell you." Well, if he's afraid to tell you, he's probably not brave enough to actually do them, so why bother? I actually opened that one and realized there was a lot of men out there lying. Number one should have been Jessica Simpson.
"10 sure signs that your man is cheating" First of all, why is it always 10? People are obsessed with the number 10. Look, here's the deal, if you are buying this issue, you think he is cheating. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Short of actually catching him, good luck. Stop reading the magazine and spend some time on your relationship.
"75 sex tricks" This was my favorite one. I was in the store with one of my guy friends that is ALWAYS talking about sex. (As a rule, I don't talk about my personal sexual experiences with men). He reads the headline out loud and turns to me and asks, "Is there even 75 of them?" I thought about it for a minute and said, "At least". The look he gave me was priceless. But let's face it, it's 75 sex tricks that you are probably never both going to consent to. You both know what you want, talk, share ideas, put down the magazine and just do it. And don't take time to count. FYI, I counted 84 but I got way too much time on my hands.