Thursday, November 13, 2008

Strange Math

While waiting in line at the grocery store I was looking at the magazine covers. I know I shouldn't do that, I REALLY shouldn't. Some of the stuff that these people write, I just can't believe that anyone would read this garbage. Then again, people read my blog so...

One of the headings made me burst out laughing. Nothing strange about that right? I'm just standing there, quietly waiting and suddenly start laughing like a psych patient responding to internal stimuli. The woman behind me grabbed her children and headed to a different line.

Seriously, the heading that I read was on Self magazine. I'll give them a link and hope that they laugh instead of litigate. The heading read, "Look 100% sexier in 7 minutes". How the hell do you measure that? Seriously, what kind of math is involved to figure this out? I didn't go to college so maybe I missed the course on quantifying sexiness.

Now, I'm sure that I will get some criticism for this. There are women who take this subject very seriously. They have charts and graphs and Venn Diagrams with complex formulas for determining the exponent of their sexiness over a period of time.

For me, I am worried about being too sexy. I don't think I need the full 100% increase in sexiness. I've decided to take a more subtle approach and spend 1.75 minutes to look 25% sexier. Yeah, I think that's all I need. Besides, I'm all about taking Baby steps.


timethief said...

The headlines for the articles in those magazines crack me right up. Anyone who needs to "look" 100% sexier that they are now is obviously donning a mask. This is a logical conclusion because if you need to be 100% sexier that means your aren't sexy at all, and the surgery involved to create the required attachments would certainly take more than 7 minutes. lol :P

Lord, I want to be whole said...

I crack up too over those headliners! I can feel 100% sexier by laughing at those headlines...laughing is sexy isn't it? s!

Zentastic said...

I'm sure there are academics out there who've made their careers out of objectively measuring sexiness.

Fortunately (or unfortunately?) I'm not one of them!

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...

Maybe they meant climax in 7 minutes. That's 100% sexier than standing in the grocery line. Lots of the ladies like to read sexy stories for that sort of thing.

Ha, ha! The captcha word for mine was "wonan"

Jen said...

That is funny!