Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Force fed salad

It was my sisters birthday but she doesn't read my blog so I can talk about her. We went out to dinner and she made me eat a salad. I didn't want a salad, did you know that lettuce is made out of heads? But, it was her birthday, so I felt obligated.

She's a vegetarian. For my birthday she's gonna have to eat a bacon double cheeseburger. She says that she is concerned about my health. Pffft, I'm as healthy as a horse. Hey, horse sounds more delicious than this salad. Waiter, can I get some meat on my salad?

Why is it that some vegetarians (Not my sister) feel like they need to convert you to their food religion? Can't you just eat your bowl of veggies and STFU? I don't preach to you and try to sprinkle your salad with bacon bits. It's like they are more right because they don't eat meat. Well, it makes me feel better to know that the meat I do eat comes from vegetarian animals.

Back to my point. Actually, I'm not sure that I have a point but anyway. I told my sister that she was placing a big burden on me and I have to eat twice as much meat now to make up for the fact that she is a vegetarian. I eat "double" cheeseburgers now because it pains me to think that poor little Mary Sue can't go to college because her Dad is a cattle farmer.

She was pretty good about that comment and just said, "That's nice of you". Darn, she didn't take the bait, now I feel terrible. "I'm just kidding", I said, "She can still go to college because her Dad makes money from the vegetable farmers, selling them the POOP that your food is grown in".
Bon Appetite!

8 comments:

Fat Zombie said...

I know, There should be a group defending those poor lettuce heads huh.

What scares the hell out of me is those people turn vegan. Those are even more extreme than Vegetarians and they look like they went thru chemotherapy

Atleast your sister isn't treating you like the devil. I agree that these people give a better than thou attitude too.

Sharpodue said...

Loving the post! I know what you mean!

Although the thing i don't get and im thinking about having a ranting post in my own blog about this...is that if vegtarians are so much against eating meat...then why the hell do they have quorn (meat substitute which tastes like meat) and vegie sausages!

Why if they are against eating meat...do they want to eat something that tastes and looks like meat? Baffles me!

Ekim said...

@sharpodue- You forgot to mention "Tofurkey". It's a real word.

the real julie said...

You're writing is spot on! It is not often that I laugh out loud when I read blogs, thanks.

Tiffany said...

I don't actually think that bacon bits have any meat in them.

Ekim said...

Tiffany, I'm talking about real bacon bits, not the fake ones. I think those are just kitty litter soaked in bacon grease.

ElectricMermaid said...

"I didn't want a salad, did you know that lettuce is made out of heads?"

Maybe I'm tired or losing my sense of humor, but that was the funniest thing I've read all month. (Who cares that it's only October 6th?)

A friend actually took me to a vegetarian restaurant once (it was Indian/Vegetarian) and a crazy guy came in trying to sell Omaha steaks to everyone.

My half sister is vegetarian and she once told me she can't eat anything with eyes. So we bought a bunch of those googly eyes you can get in a craft store and glued them to our potatoes and tomatoes. Fun times.

Born with a big mouth! said...

you are too funny!!