Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Mosquitos

I have to take a minute to do a quick post about the most annoying little bug that is really ruining my evening. I'm just sitting here, trying to get some work done and this single mosquito has bitten me over a dozen times.

Ok, I lied. I'm not actually working but all the pictures of Scarlett Johansson are not exactly going to download themselves.

Anyway, this little bug is so small that I can barely see him to squash him and yet he has bitten me like 37 times. How much can he eat?

Well, here's the deal, I would rather have him just bite me once, suck out like a gallon of blood and then go sit in the corner and smoke a cigarette. The part that gets me riled up is that he is treating me like an all you can eat buffet.

Oh and, of course, what the heck could possibly be in my ear that is so delicious? That annoying buzzing sound gets louder and louder until I slap myself upside the head, feeling and looking like a complete idiot.

I swear I am going insane and if I catch this little guy I am going to crush him into dust. I've lost so much blood and smacked myself in the head so many times that I am beginning to feel a little woozy.

14 comments:

Even Angels Fall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lord, I want to be whole said...

I hate laying in bed at night and hearing the buzzing. So, I get up turn on the light and i can't see him, I give up. Back into bed and again bzzzzzzz!!!

So I'm up again, lights on running around on the bed trying to kill this beast!!

grrr!!

great post!

Even Angels Fall said...

Ok, so this is what i had said...

I have a couple of theories as to why the mosquitoes will now leave you alone.

1. They were sent by all the members of 'Let's Kill Ekim Slowly Club', formed by women who felt that you have wronged them. They would have loved to draw out your blood themselves but the prospects of jail did not look so attractive to them, what with the restraining order you have on them.

2. Scarlet Johansen has caught on the latest advancement in bodyguard technology. The mosquitoes were actually guard bots sent to all men (and women) who seek her nude photos online. This happens when they detect the word 'free' in your search phrase.

3. The mosquitoes are on to you.They have discovered that you have been encouraging the mosquito-teenagers to smoke. They fear that you might introduce them to the mosquito coils.

Good'un sir!

Even Angels Fall said...

BTW- I'm trying to add you to my blogroll and your site won't show. Wonder why?

praning5254 said...

Here's some facts on mosquitoes:
1. You're more likely to be a target for mosquitoes if you consume bananas.
2. Biting activity increase by 500 times when there is a full moon.
3.A mosquito's wings beat 500 times a second.
4. The animal responsible for the most human deaths world-wide is the mosquito.
5. Mosquitoes dislike citronella because it irritates their feet.
6. Mosquitoes prefer children to adults, and blondes to brunettes.
7. A mosquito can detect a moving target at 18 ft away.

The Offended Blogger said...

Ha! Little do you know that he is one of my minions sent to terrorize you.

Glad to know that he is doing his job properly. :)

Ekim said...

@Lord I want to be whole- When you turn the lights on, they hide and laugh at you.

@Even Angels fall- Thanks for reminding me to add "Free Nude" to my search query.

@Praning- I'll stop eating bananas and put up a map to the kids room so the mosquitoes can find it.

@Offended- Did you tell your minions to bite my "ear" or did they misunderstand you?

N. Francesca said...

Tonic Soda is the remedy. Mosquitos no-likey the 'Quinine' in the magic potion, of sorts. Once inside of you, you become Fort Knox to these hellions.

;-)

Drowsey Monkey said...

LOL - I thought they died after sucking blood, maybe he had 36 friends?

The Offended Blogger said...

*ahem*

So here I am, back again to make fun of you and your mad random ramblings, but I'm confused!

Where is the new post?

Did the mosquitos carry it off? :)

G8rBryan said...

The buzzing in the ear aggravates the hell out of me.
A few lil' tidbits about mosquitoes...
1. If it bites, it's a female most of the time. Depends on the type of Mosquito. Even women of other species are a pain. Lol.
2. If you do not have any repellent handy, try using a dryer sheet. It actually works. :)

jess said...

Female mosquitoes are the blood suckers and sounds like she wants a more than a piece of you. Your in luck a female on the prowl!

Azure Islands Designs said...

I know the feeling...those little "buggers" love me...must be the bananas??? :0)

Cheers

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