I've been altered

And not in  a fun way.

Okay, so I know that it's been a long time since I've been on Blog Catalog but my recent visit was a little frightening. Apparently, while I was away, the default profile image changed a little. It's seems that you can now upload a larger picture. Which is nice, if you happen to have caught that change. I, however, missed the memo. So, my tiny picture got expanded and became all pixelated like this:

Yikes! I mean, come on now. I look like a character from Mario Brothers. Like, maybe Nintendo did a video game version of White men can't jump. Of course, most people know that Mario has a brother named Luigi. But, did you also know that they have a blond step-brother who likes to wear his hat backwards? That's right, in this 80's classic arcade game, I play the character who cleans up after the Mario brothers and talks to mice. My catch-phrase is, “It's a me, Ekimio”.

But it gets worse. I logged in again today to find that my pixelated abomination of a profile picture had been changed to this woman:

Now, as cute as she may be, I'm telling you people... She's an imposter. I know, I know, it's hard to believe that the random rambler doesn't look like this in real life. And, that stupid little gender bot thing said that I write like a girl. Yeah, that's what it said. But, I didn't let that get me down. I put on my big girl panties and kept right on writing. Besides, it was analyzing my typing, not my writing. Which looks exactly like this:

Actually, I think I write like a doctor (I just don't get paid like one) A doctor who has had too much caffeine and is off of his seizure meds. Seriously, wouldn't you want to lay on my table and have me pick up a scalpel? Come on, I have steady hands (sort of) and I'm pretty handy with tools. Don't let my sloppy writing discourage you. Now, the fact that I'm a construction worker and not a surgeon should discourage you.

Which reminds me, I have a million dollar idea. I plan to add caffeine to orange juice and make an energy drink with vitamins. I'll call it “Pep-C”. It should sell like crazy when it gets all the bad publicity of being a trademark infringement that sounds like a disease.

I should also put some of that Ginko Biloba stuff in it. I don't have a good memory and it's hard for me to keep track of what I've done and haven't done. I should also put some of that Ginko Biloba stuff in it. I don't have a good memory and it's hard for me to keep track of what I've done and haven't done.