Monday, May 11, 2009

Decisions, Decisions

It seems that one debate that comes up again and again is whether or not people can choose their sexual preference. Like everything else, I have put way too much thought into this and I have come to my final conclusion that it is definitely not a choice.

I remember when I was a child I had some very big decisions to make. Do I want chicken McNuggets or a cheeseburger for dinner? Will I be Spiderman or the Hulk for Halloween? You know, life changing choices like that. But, I don't ever remember the gay or straight decision.

It probably didn't happen when I was a child though. If it did, it probably wouldn't have been girls, I'm almost positive that they had cooties which were highly contagious and also deadly. Plus, I was convinced that cooties would make my pee-pee fall off and I'd have to change my name to Michelle.

A few years later I noticed that girls no longer had cooties so they must be simply a childhood disease. I still don't remember this as being a choice, I just noticed that girls had some redeeming qualities that were becoming more and more prevalent.

Now, if I actually had a choice to make as to who I would be attracted to, the obvious choice would be myself. Think about it. Dating would be cheaper. I always know when I am in the mood. I know that I will always be there for me. It seems like the best choice.
Besides, when I am stuck in traffic and there is nothing good on the radio, I could, you know, enjoy the wait with myself. Not that I don't do that anyway but it would be more enjoyable.
Taking a shower would be much more fun, I could always shower with the one I love.

Besides, people are always telling me to go Feck myself, imagine if I actually could. Or better yet, actually enjoyed it. Yes, life would be a lot simpler if I actually got to choose who I was attracted to. Bottom line is, on this one, I don't think I had any choice.
Nope, for me the simple fact is that if you put a blind fold on me and put me in a room with a hundred women, I could find the crazy one and put a ring on her finger. Yup, that seems to be what I ended being attracted to.