Monday, January 12, 2009

It's not broken

Well, there seems to be some controversy stirring at the Ekim household. On one side of the debate is my neighbor and my kids and on the RIGHT side of the debate is me. The problem is that everyone who is wrong seems to think that I need a new dryer. Let me start from the beginning and you can decide for yourself just how right I am.

Genesis: The dryer was given to me by my mother. It was well used and broken but I fixed it. After a few years it began to make a funny noise but only at the end of the cycle. I saw this as a good thing, it was letting me know when my clothes were dry and the smell of burning plastic was hardly noticeable. We'll just say that it was a feature for the hearing impaired.

Not too long ago, the belt broke, the heating element burned out and a wheel in the back of the dryer turned into a molten fiery goo. That was no big deal, simple parts that were easily replaced. Let's call that some routine maintenance.

Shortly after that, the dryer would shut off all by itself in the middle of the cycle. A few times this resulted in moldy clothes but mold sort of smells like Polo cologne after it has set out for a few days. So, just think of all the money I am saving on cologne.

Currently, the dryer appears to be broken at first glance. When you push the button all it does is make a buzzing noise and a little puff of white smoke comes out (Again, for the hearing impaired). All you need to do it reach inside the dryer and hand turn the drum just enough to get it started. Of course, you can't do that with the door open because when the door opens, the dryer stops. But, I have cleverly taped the door switch down so it will still run with the door open, giving me the chance to jump start the dryer.
Now, I think that this is endearing. It reminds me of the old cars with the huge spoke tires that you had to start with a hand crank on the front bumper. Or, maybe one of those old fashioned planes that you would have to spin the prop to get it started. I'm not doing laundry, I'm like a pilot. How cool is that.

So, this is why all these people (who are wrong) think I need a new dryer. The bottom line is that the dryer dries clothes. Sure, you have to start it by precariously reaching your hand into a hot spinning drum and you have to ignore the loud noise and faint smell of burning electronics but it dries clothes. I don't know how I could possibly be more right, do you?
Is your dryer broken? No, it dries clothes. See, it's as simple as that.

Now the WRONG PEOPLE have their own group on Facebook.


RockStories said...

There is help available.

Ekim said...

Okay, thanks to Tiffany I now have soda coming out my nose. Great more laundry to do.

K Fields said...

I understand completely!

We kept the car that in order to start, we had to all get out, and push with the doors open, so when it started rolling we could jump in and jiggle the screwdriver in ignition to get the engine to roll over.

Sure... Not any more dangerous then sticking your hand in a hot dryer risking clothes wrapping around your arm pulling it in and perhaps breaking it. But...hey... that what is life is all about... Taking risks. And never say die! :)

Midwest Mom said...

We had the same problem for a while (and yes, I push-started the drier) until my amazing husband changed the belt. Now, it works like a dream.

I say, grab your toolbox and open that baby up.


Anonymous said...

No, they're not wrong, Mike. You really need a new dryer. Your dryer is trying to save your life by shutting itself off too early and by refusing to work without some major prodding from you!

Maybe you feel some kind of allegiance or affection for the dryer, since it was your mom's? If so, let it go peacefully, Mike. Say goodbye and let it rest in peace.



Margo said...

I had a dryer once that would shoot flames from the top of it right before the clothes were done. It charred the ceiling a bit but the clothes were always fine. My landlord insisted it was safe.

When I moved out, I called the building code people and they agreed with me.

I can understand your resistance, given that the dryer still works, but do need a new dryer.

I have joined Tiffany's group, Mike. Should we take up a collection and just deliver one to your door someday?

Best wishes to you.

Kiefers Corner said...

You simply have to ask yourself is the juice worth the squeeze?

Delighted Scribbler said...

Um, if the dryer dries, what's with the "cologne" scented mold? Perhaps this... aroma... is what is attracting babes of the Britney Spears gorging variety.

timethief said...

I laughed so hard when I read this. I went through a kick start the dryer period too. After the belt was changed it ran fine until my sister and her kids came to visit. Teenagers sure do change clothes a lot. The poor old thing couldn't handle the heavy loads so broke down and bought a new one.

Jeunelle Foster said...

Mike if it's good enough for you, it should be good enough for your household.
Put your foot down and don't let them forget who is the man of the house. :)

Carol said...

Hope you have fire insurance. But who am I to talk when our dryer shreds our clothes like a pit bull.

Sheila-Army Wife said...

lol...I think you need a new dryer. If you account for all the time and money you have put into this broken down dryer, or dryer that keeps breaking down and your stress, you could have bought a new dryer and save yourself a lot of time, money and stress. Good Luck!

nomad said...


Quit being a dolt. Even if you have fire insurance on your home, that stupid dryer is not worth risking your childrens lives, or the trauma that it would cause them should it cause a fire. Divorce or whatever your personal circumstance happens to be now, is enough for them to handle already. Suck it up buttercup, get the stupid dryer out of the house and buy a new one for your children. Pick something else to make a stand on, as a parent you don't get a choice on this one.

from another parent who cares...♦

Theresa111 said...

You truly deserve a new(er) dryer.

Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday Dear Mike
Happy Birthday To You!

March 7, 2009 :D

Sophie LC said...

Since it is (or was?) your birthday, perhaps your friends and family members had the sense to buy you a new dryer?
I would happily join the WRONG group too but maybe you can do the environment a favour and use a clothesline outside to dry your clothes; that's what I do and even though I live in Ireland (where it rains all the time and yes, the grass is so green, now you know why!), I've found out that the press where my badly insulated hot water tank is stored (what we call the hot press around here) acts as a great dryer for my clothes.

Theresa H. Hall said...

March 8th! that's it. Enjoy your day!

RockStories said...

Uh oh.

This post is more than three months old and the author has apparently not been heard from since.

I think we all know what this means.

Off to comb news sites for stories of tragic dryer-initiated house fires...

kdawg68 said...

That really tied the room together! :-)

Dark Angel said...

I think a therapist would say that they finally found the connection between your love life and your laundry...

I dont know why they would say that, but it sounded like an intelligent comment to make