Thursday, October 29, 2009

God is on Facebook

I just heard the most preposterous caller talking to a psychic on the radio station. The woman recently got married and even more recently connected with her old boyfriend from high school on Facebook.

She claims that this must be a sign from God. I Hurried home to see if I had any messages from God on my Facebook account and got nothing. He may just be mad at me for choosing "Other" as my religion.

After getting over the disappointment of not having any divine messages or superpokes, I consulted the bible. Maybe there is a clause that I overlooked. I flipped through the pages to find the ten commandments and see if there were any amendments like, "Thou shall not commit adultery unless thou meets an old flame on Facebook". Nothing. Damn, I need to get a new bible, she must be reading the King Zuckerberg version.

She did go on to say that this man was her best friend in High school and she had lost her virginity to him. Of course she was madly in love with him. Which instantly made me wonder where the hell has he been all these years? Why didn't she find him BEFORE she got married?

I'm also wondering about the marriage vows. Maybe she wrote her own, "Til death parts us, or I find an old flame on Facebook". Now I know that Facebook doesn't destroy relationships, people do. I think that Facebook is merely a catalyst in making people reveal their true colors.

Now, if God is telling this woman to cheat on her husband, who am I to argue with God? My thought is that, not only should she cheat on her husband but she should also post it on his wall so that everyone can see the deep level of devotion she has to her marriage.

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