Airing out your laundry online

So, I did this post on how Facebook is THAT friend that likes to cause drama.  I got several comments...okay, just three...that pointed out a few other wonderful aspects of Facebook.  Laura pointed out that Facebook doesn't cause drama, people do. And she is right, there are many ways to take little shots at your friends. You could tag them in those embarrassing photos from the 80's where their hair was the size of a planet and had enough hairspray in it to eradicate the ozone layer completely.  Make sure you have the whole body in the shot so we can see the pants that come up to their sternum and the Swatch watch.

Another lovely feature of Facebook is the "In a relationship with..." link.  Sure, when you first see that your friends have now hooked up on Facebook you are thinking, "Aww, they make cute couple".   I'm thinking, "Aww, that poor guy is gonna get dumped and his 584 friends on Facebook will all know about it before he does".  I know I am constantly scouring my homepage just waiting for the post that reads, something like "Ron Ursumshitt is no longer in a relationship".  Can you believe that there is actually a "Like" option on those posts?  Why not just put a link that says, "I'm an insensitive @ss" with the little thumbs up icon.  If his girlfriends next post is noting that she is single, she dumped him.  Yes, if you do the math you even get to know who dumped who.

Friend Facts was a great drama creator and very creepy app that like to ask the question, "Do you think your sister is Hot or a good kisser?"  Do I want to know?  I mean, I am from the south and all...  I actually don't want to know if my niece has ever had phone sex, thank you very much.  Of course, Tiffany was offended because Facebook pointed out that I am a better dancer than she is.  I'm sorry but it's true.
Learning this made me decide to turn my computer off when I am not using it.  It creeps me out BIG TIME that Facebook knows how I dance.

Facebook is THAT friend

I noticed recently that Facebook has become the instigator of drama by sending notifications to my friends that I would not normally send. Not because I don't like to start drama just because I am simply too lazy to do it myself. I don't know about you but I kind of like this new feature of Facebook. It allows me to piss of my friends and requires very little effort on my part.

For example when Facebook informed me that my friends think Tiffany is funnier than I am. That is basically insulting to both of us seeing as she has a serious blog and I have a humor blog. Or do I?

Even when I was simply bored and playing an innocent game of bejeweled blitz Facebook felt compelled to let Melissa know that I had just whooped her butt. Even though I think that the real message was simply, “Melissa has more of a LIFE than I do”.

I think I could do without the “You're a crap bag friend” feature. You know the one that nags you to reconnect with someone by writing on their wall. And it's even worse when it's my daughter who they are telling me to reconnect with. Like I'm a douche bag father. Hey, I gave her lunch money that should be worth more than writing on her wall. “Sorry kid, I can't go to the mall with you, Facebook thinks it would be better bonding time for me to write on your wall.” Great, Now I'm getting parenting advice from a social networking site.

So, Facebook has become that friend who likes to talk shit about you behind your back. Spreading rumors and gossip, trying to start drama and ruin friendships and trying to have your kids taken away for neglect. And, much like that instigating friend, the facts don't really matter it's the drama that counts.